Synthetic Genetics
Artist | Student | Literature

Germany

Well, I’ve been knocking around the last twentyfour years and went from Germany to Scotland, back again and to Russia and back again and to China and back again as well and so on. I was training a job which didn’t fit me and slept with girls who didn’t attract me. Found out that it’s no difference kissin’ girls or boys. I was searching for neither love nor acceptance but beauty and sex. That made me creative. I wrote poems which I find are strange and psycho. Still, I’m working on a space-opera-epos, but as far as I’m concerned it won’t ever be finished at all. I love to take long walks through the forest and be terribly exhausted afterwards, like to fight and I’m no dork, just a geek sometimes and a geezer. I’m here as I’m curious and want to show off. I don’t judge people, I get along with them or not. Left the motivation to pretend that I like someone if I don’t. And I’m very moody, one can see my feelings with a look in my face all the time; but they change in a tremendous velocity. I take chances all the time and everyday is a whole live in my mind and I’m travelling through this live without taking anything for serious, almost. I went back to school as I want more from life, one can say that I want everything from life, at least as much as possible. Don’t want to miss a single thing. That is why I try everything and seize every chance to experience something new. I’m out of my mind and I give a damn on people’s opinions about myself. I'm chronically underchallenged so I sometimes see intelligence as a curse. I thought about the world ever since I was able to think and out of an buddhist-philosophic affinity I lost the connection to the world as most of the people call it reality, that gives me a freedom you can only dream of but the bad aspect of this is that I don’t care about things in life anymore. Don’t get me wrong, in the case that I find something I really want, I can go far beyond my limits to get it and use up my strength, beauty, intelligence and patience to reach my aim. I believe neither in coincidence nor in destiny; I believe in my conscious will. It drives the world in the direction I want and this is a fact ever since. There’s barely something happening in my life that I don’t want to happen. I failed in my studies of German and English because the requirements were too low. So I study Chinese as I searched for a challenge and still I find pleasure in this but I am artist and this will forever dominate me. So I got the power to create something great but I totally lack the motivation (out of the global disappointment). I exhausted myself up in love-crimes until my soul and mind crashed on my inner reset-button and until I totally lost myself and was shocked by what I saw in the mirror. But the world seems to want me polluting it’s surface. After finding a man who represents all that I am not, I got more or less settled down, well so to say, I got settled down like uranium in an atomic power plant but I have some moments where I form into a stable constitution. I lived in Beijing and spend half of my day either challenging the scholars or giving a fuck on university; the other half of the day I discover the city or maybe the city spends her time with discovering me, I don’t know. There I finally learned what it means: Once you been in serenity you can never leave, just learn to live there. I came back to Germany sooner or later and returned to grace from my eastern exile. Still in the war between what destiny intended for my love and life to happen and what me and my companions try to fight for against destiny and God. I’m bored... at least try to fascinate me!